Why being a girl isn't working out for me:

Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
Posted on Tuesday 22nd November 2011 with 113,711 notes
  1. chessio reblogged this from becausejehanmademe and added:
    thought the quitting...female thing was just me ;_;
  2. ju1i4n4 reblogged this from itsisabellac
  3. itsisabellac reblogged this from mermaid-inparadise
  4. gersonthedon reblogged this from ilovemeallofyou and added:
    lmfaooo not a girl, but this just made me ROFL
  5. omgieshaaa reblogged this from keepyourchinupbeautiful
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  9. indiacording reblogged this from johnthehedgehog and added:
    DIFFERENT GIRL: Got the contraceptive implant on 25/03/2011 - have not menstruated since. I win forever.
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